you can't do it all.

Every time I hear these words I feel both relief and frustration. I want to do it all... But I really can't do it all! I'm so conflicted!! And this is why I cried in one on my classes today... Kind of embarassing.  I can't even fully explain why I just needed to cry.

In my cohort we've been working with a second grade class to learn how to teach math. Last week we went in to get an idea about the math concepts these students have grasped and where we should begin with our math lessons we will be teaching. We each got a chance to work with an individual student and I worked with Little Miss S we will call her :)

Sadly, she was way behind her classmates in her mathematical understanding. At the beginning she would simply guess a random answer without even giving the problem a try. As I worked more with her we began to have the funnest time putting our own names and favorite things into the math problems. ex. Little Miss S has 7 scoops of ice cream. Karina gave her 8 more scoops of ice cream. How many scoops of ice cream does she have now? As we were both laughing and having fun she began to try the problems and was even solving a few correctly!  She was the sweetest little girl.

So today in my math class, we began to plan a group lesson to teach to these second graders. Because the other students were so advanced, we planned for our next lesson to use concepts that I knew would be way over Little Miss S's (haha) head.

As my teacher came around to check our groups on the lesson we were planning, I expressed to him that I was worried about Little Miss S and how this lesson would not be developmentally appropriate for her. He put his hand on my back and sweetly told me that this isn't our class and we were just going to have to focus on teaching the best lesson for the group as a whole. And those words I need to hear but also hate, "you can't do it all."

And the tears just came. I thought of Little Miss S sitting there in the back of the class, not understanding what was being taught and not motivated to learn these difficult concepts. Alone, and not getting the attention, individual instruction, and time that she needs. Why is she sitting in the back? The furthest away from the teacher when she needs her time and attention the most?

I think I really gravitate to those students that are not getting the attention they need. The ones left out, needing a friend or a little bit of help. I had a similar experience working with a little girl, J, last semester. Her father had abused her, her mom was not in her life, she had moved to the school just a few months before and she was falling behind in math. Her teacher didn't take the time to get her a math book, flashcards, or any of her own supplies to do the work expected of her, but instead sits her as far away from the teacher as possible in the back of the class! And then I, the only one who would give her attention and the care she desperately needed, was asked to stop volunteering with J (just as she was making progress!) because the teacher thought my work with her was not necessary/more distracting to J than helpful- she would rather have J struggle on her own. This broke my heart. 

A lot of my feelings on this could be because I was the one in high school that was alone and forgotten... and that hurt. And if I can do anything to reach out to those who have ever felt that way, or just need someone to care about them, I want to be that person and do everything I possibly can. I don't want to hear that I can't do it all.

And at the same time I do. I'm stressed. Practicum is starting on Monday. I know I won't be perfect at teaching, I know I will have so much to do all the time, but I still want to do all that I can for those students I will be working with.

How am I going to do it all? Or be ok with not being able to do it all?

Ok that felt really good to get all of that out :)

The Secret of Happiness...

surround yourself with people who unconditionally and totally adore you, and go have fun.

Couch Time :)

Clarissa's 20th birthday 

 Kelsey and Landon came to visit!!

 Dinner with some friends

 Saying goodbye to Sister Perkins!!

Hot chocolate- just because we can :)

 Dinner at The Pie with Trent

 Meatloaf Dinner :)

 Celebrating Holly's first week of Practicum!!

 St. Patrick's Day Dinner

 Midnight Showing of Tangled

This semester has been very busy, but life is great. How about a little good news minute to update you on my life? :)

• I have been hired to be an efy counselor this summer in Georgia and Florida!! and Ogden as well :)
• I am staying at school for spring term- I'm only taking one class! and I will still be working in the Math Lab... but life is going to be a party!! 
• I am working right now with a third grader who is struggling in math and I absolutely love her!
• Winter Semester will be over in less than a month!
• Pay day is tomorrow!!
• I had a picnic with my roommate yesterday and we laid out in the sun for almost two hours!! 
• I am going to be a Head Secretary in the Math Lab!! 
• Its starting to be running weather!! Hopefully some 5 and 10K's here soon!!

Love always, Karina

There Was A Little Cricket

I made this video for one of my Early Childhood Education classes where we are learning how to use technology in the classroom. Doing this project has made me crave to be a children's book writer/illustrator even more...

My roommate and I were talking about our majors a couple of weeks ago and how it can be scary to plan out your future and invest so much time into something that may not end up being what you were hoping for. She told me a story she heard once about a father encouraging his son to find what it is that you spend your free time thinking about and pursue a career in it. I've realized over the last few weeks that when I have nothing else to work on or to think about, I come up with ideas for children's books and illustrations. And it's addicting.

Recently I've started writing my ideas down/doodling in a notebook so I won't forget these ideas and hopefully one day I can turn them into my own children's books :) That thought just made me so happy :)

Yes I am still majoring in Early Childhood Education, but I don't have to worry if teaching doesn't work out for me. I don't have to have it all figured out right now- I love a lot of different things and there are many things I want to do in my life and I just keep reminding myself that I have time :)

Everything You've Missed...

How am I ringing in the New Year? 

Reading a good book, in my sweats, while roasting in front of a fireplace. :) 

Tomorrow I will head back down to school, but tonight I'm doing nothing and loving it. And I thought, hey, I should blog before life gets crazy again. I know I've neglected this blog this last semester, so I guess I should briefly fill you in on some fun things I did....

 Girls Night at Olive Garden

 Built a Giant Fort in Our Living Room

 Made Fruit Pizzas for FHE. Yeah, I think I'm a pretty cool mom :)

Free Bagels Every Friday Morning!!!

Waffle Night with friends

Dressed up as cavewomen for Halloween :)

 BYU Basketball Games

Ugly Sweater Day on campus

 Later used our Ugly Sweaters for our family Chirstmas Card

Applebees with my family

 Dinner with some of Holly's relatives

 SNOWMOBILING!!

I really should take more pictures this next semester... I don't think a single one of these photos is from my camera haha yep i just checked. none. I will be better :)

and now I'm feeling lazy again... back to doing nothing!

Fortune Cookies

are scary good.

Seriously every fortune cookie I ever get is perfect for me and what's going on in my life right then.

Right at the beginning of this break I went to Panda Express with a good friend and I was super excited to open up my fortune cookie and read:

"Allow yourself time. You will reach success." 


I've had a crazy semester and I have needed this Christmas break to clear my head, make some decisions, and just relax a bit. So it was very nice to hear from my fortune cookie that everything will work out if I just give myself some time.

I also happened to get another fortune cookie the other night when some of our neighbors dropped by a box of them for Christmas. Mine said:

"You income will increase." 

Sweet.
(and yes i know that should be YOUR, but that's how the cookie said it!)

And boy did I need to hear this as I had just spent the night ordering new books for the semester, posting my books to be sold online, praying for my pell grant to kick in as tuition is due, and crunching numbers from my bank account to see how I will be able to pay for rent as soon as I'm back at school.

I guess sometimes I just need a little piece of paper to tell me to stop worrying :)

"we're ADULTS!!"

haha yeah. mostly.

Last weekend Holly and I decided to make a quick trip down to Cedar City to see her sister who was driving across the country and had a stop in Cedar on Friday night. So Holly and I went to class and to work, came home, packed up our stuff and headed out!

We listened to our favorite music, sang songs, talked about life, and came to the conclusion that we are ADULTS. And surprisingly, that doesn't scare me at all :)

The drive was gorgeous.

We went out to dinner.

We swam in the hotel pool.

We watched Toy Story 3 while eating Ben and Jerry's ice Cream :)

And then we went to bed at 10:30. Like any other adult :) haha

I had to post this picture just because it makes me laugh. Any poor/hungry college student could understand that you don't just throw away un-eaten Ben and Jerrys ice cream even if you don't have a freezer. And if keeping that ice cream cold in bags full of ice is what it takes to preserve their goodness, so be it :)

The next morning we ate the free hotel breakfast and then went back to our room after her sister left. We spent the morning hanging out in our pajamas laying on the giant hotel beds, and cuddling with soft pillows as we talked... and we had a GOOD talk. The kind where you laugh over the past, tell secrets, dream about the future, and make plans. All sorts of amazing plans. :)

We left the hotel around noon and headed back to Provo. Driving in a car with my best friend Holly, random ipod music, and yogurt pretzels. What more could you need?

So... Do you ever listen to a song and it instantly brings memories back to you? "Why Georgia" by John Mayer will forever remind me of this trip. Just because :)

More than I realize sometimes, Holly and I have done a lot of growing up in these last 3 years of college. And I love when I can look back on the past and see the beauty in it- how my experiences have shaped me into who I am. Our talk on Saturday reminded me that I have a lot to look forward to.

I'm not scared to be an Adult. I'm excited :)

I'm a little obsessed.

This summer I went to 4 concerts :) how lucky am I? And as a result, I am a little obsessed...

Owl City during Finals Week 

He is We in a scary part of Salt Lake

Justin Bieber with my little sisters

John Mayer and Owl City in August- two for the price of one :)

Growing up I never understood how it would be any fun to pay more money to see someone in person when you could just buy their CD and listen to it whenever you wanted! That's my stingy side showing :) But experiencing concerts for myself has truly opened my eyes. There is just something incredible about being in a huge crowd waiting to hear a voice that is on your ipod, a song that brings back great memories, and lyrics that have made you smile, cry and do everything in between. 

I'm obsessed. And no, I do not enjoy paying so much money to go see some of my favorite singers in person, but sometimes I just can't help myself. 

It's been about two months since my last concert... And I'm thinking I'm overdue for another one :)